Hey internet fam,
It’s been a minute. No excuses here, just a minute since I wrote in the Words By Sam blog…
You see…writing is a bitch. Sitting down and dumping what’s in your brain into words that form into sentences is an artform, an artform I want to be great at one day. I tell myself a lot that writing has to become a priority. I have to exercise my ability to take what’s in my brain and form it into sentences consistently, or else I’ll never become the storyteller I dream of being.
If I can write how I feel in detail, I will be able to connect with myself internally. If I connect with myself internally, I tell an authentic story. If I tell an authentic story, I put myself in the best position possible to stand out, to succeed. Simple as that.
The harsh truth is, I’m not great, yet. I’ve had glimpses where I think I’m hot shit but in my brain I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I believe I can create. I believe one day, I will create something that is truly great, that goes farther than I ever expected…but I always ask myself, what’s it gonna take to get there? What does it take to be great?
Greatness comes in all forms, all shapes and sizes. Greatest is subjective. What’s great to me might not be great to you, although I think we can mutually agree, greatness stems from repetition and consistency. Achieving greatness is available to the public 24/7, but most people only want to show up half the time or go in waves in their pursuit, including myself. Greatness is showing up when you don’t feel like it, being comfortable being uncomfortable.
Becoming great at anything is like a never ending hockey game.
Let me explain.
SAM’S BROKEN ANALOGIES:
I like to look at the long game of becoming great like a professional hockey game. In hockey, the game moves incredibly fast. Players are flying around from everywhere. You can score from just about anywhere in the rink. You can check players. You can fight. You can get put in timeout. You can check in and out of the game at any time, any speed, without any permission or stoppage of play. Anything can happen at any moment.
Hockey is an intimidating game. The pace of the game never really slows down. As soon as you want out, there are players flying into the game that want in. In a hockey game, there is the inevitable. You will always be able to see the goal. You will get hit and blind sided by someone you didn’t see. You will get put in timeout alone. You will have the spotlight on you in a shootout. You will have fans screaming at you for better or for worse. You will have the opportunity to risk it all and pull the goalie. You will get tired and take yourself out of the game, but you will always have the chance to check back in whenever you want.
Becoming great is an intimidating game. The world doesn’t stop spinning when you decide you want to stop. The moment you stop believing in yourself is the same moment someone else finds their stride. In becoming great at anything, there is the inevitable, similar to a hockey game. You will always have your dream. You will get discouraged and have things happen that are out of your control. You will feel isolated and lost in your own head. You will have to rise to the occasion and seize the moment. You will have to take big risks and make sacrifices along the way. You will be swayed by external voices telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, constantly. You will become overwhelmed and lose yourself in the process. You will want to stop, but if you feel it’s worth chasing, you will always check back in and push forward.
I’m in my own hockey game of becoming great right now. Currently on the bench and to be completely honest, I do not want to check into the game right now.
I’m recovering from a 4 year long injury and the process of getting back is grueling and disheartening. I’m in a transitional period in my creative career and I would much rather prefer watching the NBA Playoffs than to think about what’s next. I really don’t feel like picking up a camera and I’ve definitely lost a sense of my internal drive, lost a sense of my purpose. I feel off.
Now that my sob story is out, let me flip this into something to build off of because I’m not off the team yet. I’m just on the end of the bench where the coach can’t see me. It’s comfy over here.
Although being on the bench makes me feel like I’m going backwards, it’s allowed me to study and further understand what separates good from great.
After studying my idols that I believe are all subjectively “great” in their own fashion, I’ve realized that they all possess something in common, ego. Google defines ego as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. It’s the portion of the human personality which is experienced as the “self” or “I” and is in contact with the external world through perception. Growing up I always viewed ego as a negative thing. You would hear shit like “woah that dude has a massive ego” or “don’t attack their ego”. As I’ve grown older, I understand that “ego” can be used in a positive and motivating light, depending on how you frame it. Humans should have an ego. Where the line gets blurry in “ego” is between having unlimited internal belief in yourself to do what you truly want to do versus your pursuit to boost your external perception of yourself.
I’ll be the first person to tell you, I’m egotistical.
I produce videos glorifying my life and my story in hopes of getting attention and reaching an audience. If I reach a larger audience and get more attention, I have a higher chance of building my brand. There’s no detachment from my life and my job and while it may be on a small scale now, I definitely care about what my peers think of me, even people that don’t even know me personally. I hate when people say “I don’t give a fuck about what people think of me”, because it’s not true. Humans want to be loved. Humans want their ego boosted at times. Humans want a heightened sense of self-importance and self-worth. The tricky part is finding the perfect balance of your ego. I believe that greatness stems from finding the perfect balance of your ego.
Almost a year ago, I read a book written by a recording artist named Russ, called, “It’s All In Your Head”. And yes, let me clear the air…I don’t read books and this book was about 100 pages long, so this is monumental for me. Anyways, this book was an autobiography about his life story on how he became successful in the music industry and throughout the story, he drops some “self-help” gems. Russ is known to have an “ego” and is a very outspoken artist so I felt as though this was fitting for the topic at hand. Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the book.
“Don’t get caught up in the WHEN. Just know the WHAT…never forget the WHY… Play for the love of the game…fuck the points. The journey starts and ends with you.”
It took Russ 10 studio albums and 10 years of nonstop work before a song even popped. No label, no help, just independent art. Russ believed he was great before anyone could tell him he was great. To me, that’s greatness. Russ was in the hockey game for 10 years getting booed by the peanut gallery before he even had a shot at goal. He did whatever he could to stay in the game. He thought he was great in year 1 when no one wanted to hear a peep out of him. That’s a delusional internal belief in yourself that stems from your ego. That’s the brilliant side to your ego.
You cannot expect people to believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself. You cannot be great if you don’t believe that you can be great.
It always starts with you.
It always starts with ego.
I struggle with this. I struggle with balancing my ego…knowing when to pull the goalie and take risks. I struggle to stay on track and not get distracted by external factors and voices.
How do I know when I’m doing something truly for myself because I want it versus wanting something to boost my own perception of myself?
That’s a question that isn’t answered over one experience, but rather a lifetime of moments and struggles. I’ll be able to answer that question more thoroughly with my grandchildren on my lap.
Before we end here, I’d like to remind myself and you as well, that struggling is an important thing in life. Struggling means you’re working through something. Struggling means you don’t want to quit. Struggling is a massive part of becoming great.
Thank you for hearing out my long winded brain dump for how I’m feeling at the moment. I’m trying to figure out my life and writing is a massive creative release for me. It might make sense to you. It might not make sense.
Regardless, I appreciate you letting me rant. I hope you can take something from my journey and apply it to your life so that we can be great, together.
With Love,
Sam Snowden
words by sam. 